Every person who lives in this world will experience rejection of some kind. Writers receive rejection letters of their unpublished work. There is rejection based on skin color, gender, and religion to name a few. Perhaps, the kind of rejection, which cuts deeper and leaves a jagged scar comes from those who have access to our hearts.
If you have read my “About Christia” page, then you know I have never had a boyfriend. Even so, throughout the years I have met men of God I had interest in and had they pursued me, I would have been receptive to their pursuit. However, none of them pursued me. You might be thinking; well, maybe, none of them knew you were interested. You are probably right; maybe, I did not flirt the right way for them to catch on I was interested.
However, there was once a man I did feel the Lord lead me to be bold and direct by verbally communicating with Scriptures (Old and New Testament) how because of what he desired in his wife (and I in my husband) and the kind of foundation and bond in friendship we had, here I am open to moving toward something more between us. Of course, I did not communicate it as eloquently as that. I was very nervous. Still, he understood what I was saying, and he chose not to pursue me.
His rejection hurt, and it fed into long-held thoughts of not being worth pursuing by a true man of God because I am not the woman with the bubbly personality, I am not beautiful or interesting. So why would he choose me? Those are some of the thoughts, which reared their head off and on in the days and many, many, many months after that bold conversation. And, when they came, I cried out to God through journaling and prayer because I knew from experience thoughts tied to personal rejection never go away unless they are replaced with the truth.
The truth is Jesus understands, for He too experienced personal rejection. The Holy Spirit continues to draw my attention to a particular example of personal rejection Jesus experienced found in the Gospel of Luke. It says,
54Then seizing [Jesus], they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. 55And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. 56A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, ‘This man was with him.’
57But he denied it. ‘Woman, I don’t know him,’ he said.
58A little later someone else saw him and said, ‘You also are one of them.’ ‘Man, I am not!’ Peter replied.
59About an hour later another asserted, ‘Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.’
60Peter replied, ‘Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!’ Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. 61The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: ‘Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.’ 62And he went outside and wept bitterly (Luke 22:54-62).
Depending on the translation you read for verse 61b, you will see the word, “deny” or “disown” to describe what Peter did, and one of the synonyms for “deny” and “disown” is “reject.” Peter was a man who spent three years following Jesus as He did His earthly ministry. Peter was the one Jesus said He would build His Church on (Matthew 16:18). Peter was one of Jesus’ closest disciples. Peter knew Jesus intimately; he was Jesus’ friend. Yet, there he was rejecting Jesus after everything they had been through together.
One can only imagine what kind of look Jesus gave Peter in verse 61a. Whenever I read this passage, I see hurt in Jesus’ eyes, but I also see compassion and love there too. Friends, loving a friend, a family member, or anyone we let into our hearts that rejected us goes against what our flesh wants to do. Our flesh wants to harbor anger and bitterness. Our flesh wants to treat them the way they hurt us.
Yet, as Christ followers, we are called to live by the Spirit and become more like Christ. In John 21:15-17, we read part of a conversation between Jesus and Peter after Jesus’ resurrection where Jesus asks,
15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’
‘Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’
16Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’
He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’
17The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep.’
Jesus did not harbor anger towards Peter for his rejection nor did Jesus choose to never speak to Peter again. Instead, Jesus reminded Peter of the call He gave Peter to serve Him by caring for, teaching, leading, and guiding current and future Christ followers.
How can we follow Jesus’ lead when we are faced with personal rejection from those close to us? Well, I have three questions to ask you.
- Do you love Jesus? If you do, then when bitterness or anger start to arise whenever the person who rejected you comes to your mind, LIFT THEIR NAME UP IN PRAYER. The Holy Spirit will change those negative feelings toward them as you do.
- Do you love Jesus? If your answer is yes, FORGIVE. We are able to forgive because God forgives us of our sins and of all the times we have rejected Him and His ways.
- Do you love Jesus? If you said, you do, MOVE FORWARD. Use the rejection to strengthen your relationship with God and allow God to use it to strengthen you.
All Bible verses are from Holy Bible: New International Version