Sisters-in-Christ, nothing rewarding will ever be easy. In my own life, being a teacher is not easy, and it is rewarding. Part of being a preschool teacher is helping my children learn patterns such as the AB pattern. Say A=Blue Crayon and B=Orange Crayon. When the child sees a blue crayon (A), then they should know the next crayon in the pattern will be an orange crayon (B), and then, after orange what color should they expect next? Blue! Each child grasps the concept at a different pace, and it is rewarding to watch as my children understand how the AB pattern works. At some point in our formative years, we too learned and grasped the AB pattern, and we also picked up thought patterns in our formative years. The range of thought patterns we develop are numerous; for this post, let us focus on the ones we have about ourselves.
When we are waiting on the Lord for an extended amount of time, it presents the opportunity for the Lord to open our eyes to the negative thought patterns we have had since childhood. Every day we all have thoughts about ourselves; some are positive, and many are negative. Oftentimes, it is the ones which are negative that linger in our heads far longer. Growing up, family and teachers, would use the word “quiet” when referring to me. On the surface, there is nothing wrong with the comment, and yet, as a child and as a teenager, I saw being quiet as a negative because (from my perspective) the more talkative a person was, the more people gravitated toward them in family and friendship. Fast-forward to my wait journey for the man the Lord deemed worthy of my heart; when a man I had interest in pursued someone with a bubblier personality and someone people gravitate toward, the thought began to arise that my quiet personality is not one a godly man would find worth pursuing. Notice the pattern. When there was a disappointment (A), then the negative thought about me from childhood reappeared (B). The Lord in His kindness revealed this negative thought pattern about my personality in my wait journey.
One of the many beautiful aspects of our wait journeys is that the Lord wants to transform our negative thought patterns. Sisters-in-Christ, the negative thought patterns, which began in childhood, rear their head in moments as we wait on the Lord. It is painful when it does happen. What we can do now to change the pattern is allow the Lord to use this time in our waiting to redeem what was broken in childhood because of living in a fallen world and because we have an enemy (Satan) who would love for our thought lives to remain in a pattern of negativity about ourselves. Moreover, allow the Lord to restore His truth within our minds by how He sees us. Because who better to define our identity than the One who created us?
What is our identity in the Lord? There are Scriptures throughout the Old and New Testament, which reveal the truth of our identity. For this post, let us take time to pause and reflect on what David writes in Psalms:
“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you” (Psalm 139:1-4 and 13-18).
We are known by the Lord, we are His creation (inside and out), we are wonderfully made, and we are part of His story. Our negative thought patterns can be broken. The first question is are we willing to go on the journey of allowing the Lord to transform our thought patterns as we wait on Him for desires? The second question is are we willing to be patient in the process? In my own journey of the Lord transforming my negative thought pattern, He opened my eyes to embracing and appreciating the quiet personality He created me with and helped me know and rest in the truth that there is a man of God who would appreciate my personality.
Does this mean there are not moments where the negative thought pattern still rears its head? There are still moments, for negative thought patterns will rear their head in other forms and situations. Full transformation does not happen in a moment. Remember just as it took years for the pattern to become rooted within us, it will take time for it to become fully uprooted and transformed. As this process happens, it will become easier and easier to embrace a new thought pattern. A thought pattern, which focuses on the truth about our identity in Christ, and what the Lord thinks about us.
All Bible verses are from Holy Bible: New International Version