Because God Said

Children are inquisitive, sponges who absorb whatever the authority in their lives (parents, teachers, guardians, etc.) teach them about life. For the adults in a child’s life, one of the daunting roles is discerning how to answer questions about life in a way they can understand. What does an adult do when they did a good job of answering a child’s questions, and still the child comes back with a question along the lines of “But why?” Oftentimes, the child might hear a phrase, which most likely we have all heard in some form in our own childhood from our parents as they say out of anger or exasperation, “Because I said so.”

Once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are adopted into the family of God, which means God the Father is our Heavenly Father; thusly, we are His children. Like, children with their parents, the more we spend time with God, we absorb what God says in His Word, and as a result, the Holy Spirit transforms us daily and renews our minds. Also, like children, we can be inquisitive with God. Are there situations in your life or in this world, which causes you to wrestle with “God, why is this happening,” or “God, why is this allowed?” How about moments where you cry out to God saying, “God, I don’t understand!” Since we live in a fallen world, it is difficult not to ask God why at some point in our lives.

Unlike earthly parents, our Heavenly Father is slow to anger (Psalm 86:15, 103:8, 145:8). He wants us to come to Him (Matthew 11:28). This means when we come to Him, we can ask our questions too. Therefore, together in my new blog series called, “Because God Said,” we will discuss a question each month we might wrestle with in life, and we will study God’s Word to see what He says on the matter.

Today’s question is “why do I need friends?” The question might sound strange; and yet, we recently experienced a worldwide pandemic, which included a shutdown and a period where people needed to social distance from people outside their home. As a result, people experienced isolation, and post shutdown people might wrestle with a desire to pursue friendships beyond texting or video chats, for many became accustomed to not having it. Maybe the pandemic is not what triggered the question, maybe being hurt in previous friendships has had some pondering what the point of investing in new friendships is when there is the risk of being hurt again. Alternatively, maybe you do have friends, but you keep them at arm’s length because you fear being truly vulnerable with your friends. Whatever the source for not wanting friendships or being vulnerable with friends is, the Enemy would love nothing more than for you to be in isolation.

Though the Enemy wants us to remain in isolation and to let pain or fear keep us from friendships, let us look at what God’s wants for us. Our verse today says, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18). According to God, it was not a good thing for Adam to be alone. Why would God say Adam is alone when Adam has his relationship with God? Think about the relationship dynamic between parents and children; a parent’s job is supposed to be to provide, teach, nurture, counsel, and prepare their children for adulthood and the world. Is this relationship one between equals? No, for both parents and children need to also have relationship with people who are their peers. As with Adam, every Christ follower needs peer relationships in addition to their relationship with God.

What does having a Christian peer in our life add to our lives? Proverbs 27:17 explains, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” When we have Christian peers to do life with, it gives the Holy Spirit the opportunity to use those peers in our lives to help us mature in our relationship with the Lord. He also uses friendships to help us persevere during trials and tests in this life. Moreover, He uses us in the lives of our friends as well.

What steps can we take to have Christian friendships, which sharpen us? The first is ask God for friends. He will provide them! You must choose to be open to the opportunities God puts before you to have Christian friendships. The second is to go to a local church. Sadly, another impact of the pandemic is many believers have gotten used to watching church online rather than going in-person. There is nothing quite like gathering with other believers in corporate worship and hearing a teaching from the Word of God in the same room. If you have not yet returned to in-person at your church or if you have never been in-person for health, safety reasons. Ask the Holy Spirit for counsel in what is best for you to be able to attend a local church in-person.

The third step we can take is check out different church small groups. It is ok if the thought of going to a small group makes you feel uncomfortable. Small groups are an opportunity for you to have the kind of friendships, which will sharpen you; and it is the space where vulnerability happens. Vulnerability is how you build deeper friendships. So, I encourage you to walk through the uncomfortable.

The final step is for those of you who have been wounded by friends. Friendship rejection is painful, and it is difficult to get past. Therefore, we need the Lord’s help in moving through it. Ask the Lord to help you heal from those wounds of your past friendships. He will answer your prayer. Do not be surprised if He wants to move you through the healing process as you take the step to pursue new friendships.

Please do not let the pain you experienced in your past, fear of vulnerability, or isolation keep you from the incredible gifts God wants to give you through friendships. Trust Him when He says it is not good for you to be alone. Trust Him when He presents an opportunity for you to connect with a potential new friend. Trust Him when He nudges you to be open with a friend. You are made for friendship.

All Bible verses are from Holy Bible: New International Version