Dear Beloved Daughters

Ladies, we are at that stage in life where we desire a romantic relationship. Not the romantic relationships the world offers of on-again and off-again or sleeping around and experimenting. We want something real. We want someone who will be our best friend, who will love us unconditionally, who loves his family and loves ours. Someone who loves us so much he desires to protect and provide for us. Not because we asked but because God instilled it in him before we even met him.

We want someone we can share our lives with. From cool adventures, to children, to those pesky trials that will show up during the relationship. But this is ok! It means God will use those trials to teach us and our husband something by growing our faith in God and our relationship as husband and wife. There’s a catch. In order to have the desire come to fruition, there’s something called waiting we have to do.

Waiting is a word—even as a child—we despise. It can be miniscule like waiting for our favorite show to come back from hiatus, waiting for something we ordered to arrive, or waiting in traffic. Yet, it can be immense like waiting to graduate college, waiting for that right job to open up, or waiting to receive a raise. The fact is life is FULL of waiting. However, the hardest things to wait for are the ones we desire the most.

For many college age and young professional women, courtship/dating and marriage is an area we desire most. It has gotten to the place where some become impatient and settle for the man who has some of the qualities we desire in our future husband, but after a few months (or years later) the realization hits that he does not value you. Not in the same way Abraham did Sarah; the way Isaac did Rebekah; the way Jacob did Rachel; the way Boaz did Ruth; more importantly, the way Jesus does us as His bride. Why is Jesus included in this discussion? Ephesians 5:25-29 show us exactly why Jesus needs to be at the center of this conversation. It reads:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”

Jesus loved His bride, us, so much that He was willing and did die for us. He is the prime example of the ultimate husband and the kind of man we, as God’s beloved daughters, deserve.

This is a difficult act to follow because no man on this earth (not even your earthly father, grandpa, uncle, guardian, etc.) will ever love you anywhere close to the level God the Father does. For those who did not have a great earthly father, a husband will never love you like God either. Instead of trying to fill the void, let God be the Father you never had on earth; and, let Him show you through His Word how He is so much more than what an earthly father is.

Since God loved us so much that He sent His precious Son to die for us; since He wants the man we marry to love us the way Jesus Christ does; and, since He created marriage in the first place, then why not give the reins for this monumental area called marriage to Him? God knows every detail, every weakness and strength in us. And, He knows our desire for the romantic relationship with our future husband. After all, He is the one who put the desire in our hearts. Because of this, it is important to trust God, for He knows which man would be the best fit for us to become one with.

The man who will be the best fit for us WILL NOT BE PERFECT. He will not always be wonderful when around us. He will have his moments and struggles just like we will. But the beauty of what God brings together is it is to further HIS kingdom. What we do together with our husbands will influence people; some we may not have realized we impacted until we get to heaven.

In a world that views marriage as what a spouse can do for us, by choosing to wait for God, we can have counter-culture marriages with our husbands. Marriages which illustrate God’s true design for marriage. Marriages where two imperfect people love each other unconditionally and are selfless in serving one another.

Yes, there are the days where we are tired of waiting, we feel lonely, and we are tired of sitting on the sidelines watching friends and relatives with their best fit. I can relate; I’ve had the struggle and the frustrations too. Regardless, I hold on to Ecclesiastes 3:1, which says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

There will be a day where God will have my path cross with my future husband. When will that be? I don’t know, but I know God sees him wherever he is, and He is preparing him just as He’s preparing me.

When God brings a man and a woman together in marriage, He also instructs them not to let anyone separate it—including Satan (Matthew 19:5-6 and Mark 10:7-9). And believe it, Satan will try. Satan knows the relationship is a threat to his cause to kill, steal and destroy people on this earth (John 10:10).

Therefore, when those lonely moments or questions of why God hasn’t provided this desire yet trust and believe, WAITING ON GOD IS WORTH IT. Our future husbands will love us, protect and provide for us, and value and cherish us. Our husbands will be far better than we ever dreamed they would be. This is what our Heavenly Father desires for us, His beloved daughters. The question is will we choose to wait?

All Bible verses are from: The Holy Bible: New International Version.